@Beerhaze: My oldest is 14 today. Daddy's baby is growing up. Soon she'll start looking for boyfriends and find them all dead under the floor boards.
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@iwearaonesie: *wife walks in* *sees cheese balls everywhere* *shakes head* "what? 8 won't get better at catching food in his mouth if we don't practice"
@Lisa_Laughs_: In order to prepare for the future, I'm going to practice wearing adult diapers. But only when I'm drinking.
@AristotlesNZ: Tech support guy asked me to rank my issue as normal, urgent, or extremely urgent. I did a 6min long scream into the phone & let him decide.
@Darlainky: Me: *sits still 90% of my day by choice* This is nice. Also me: *stuck in traffic* You mean I just have to SIT here?!’