Me: My husband and I have a wonderful relationship
2020 *evil laugh*: Try teleworking from the same room for 8 months, then we’ll talk
My password is “weak?” Well your password recovery security question is soft as shit. The city I was born in? Ask me why my mom left my dad.
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Omg. It happened again.
I was using the flashlight on my phone. To look for my phone.
Help me 😩
couldn’t decide between consumed and ate so went with consummated, taking my donut love to a whole new level
I like to play this game called “How busy I can I pretend to look when my boss walks by my desk.”
Hiking is useful if you like the outdoors, fitness, or finding new and interesting places to dispose of bodies
Do you know why we called you in today?
To give me a pay rise?
Because I googled ‘How to burn down office’ 600 times?
I have a book to read on
I bought it in 2007.
We all suspected Tide Pods were a gateway detergent. Sure, they seem innocent, but the next thing you know, you’re mainlining Lysol.
Had me at the first half.