@bencoffeehall: My report card always said I was not living up to my full potential. Well, the joke's on them. That really was as good as I was going to get
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@KeetPotato: [studying beached whale] its a new species bill think of a name ok um *surfer walks by* yo killer whale dude *biologists look at each other*
@Brianhopecomedy: My mother-in-law talked non-stop while we watched Criminal Minds and now I have an idea for a cool new episode.
@PhilJamesson: [Storm into Octopus Boss' office] I want a raise or I quit! [Octopus Boss is almost done camouflaging against the fern] NOT THIS TIME