Why would you chase a waterfall? They don’t move to different spots you know. It’s pretty much just right there.
my sister took her 4 yr old to adopt a pet kitten and she immediately ran to the black one, picked it up and held it to her face as she said, “i’m a witch now, i can’t wait until school tomorrow.”
i’m afraid for whoever crossed her at preschool
You Might Also Like
guy: man it’s raining tigers and wolves out there
first guy to say “it’s raining cats and dogs”: oh it’s not nearly that much
Of all my mistakes, you were the mistakiest
[Me getting cut off in traffic]
GET OFF YOUR PHONE AND WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING!
[Notices USMC sticker]
AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE!
baby wake up, it’s someday
Sorry I can’t attend your Facebook event, I’ll be busy throwing myself off a cliff that day.
Diet app pops up “What did you have for dinner?”
*looking at glass of wine*
*turns off phone*
No thanks private caller, I don’t even answer the phone when I know who it is
1 year ago today, the world ended. RIP everyone.
My son has about 12 seconds to learn patience.