@3sunzzz

My son is suspended?

Yes, in-school suspension.

So he goes to school?

Yes, but he’s suspended.

Suspended IN THE SCHOOL?

Yes.

Idiot.

You Might Also Like

@sophxthompson

A little boy just screamed down the tube carriage “if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands” and everyone remained silent. I love London

@garrydavenport

I name photos of me stroking animals in files called “Fireworks and big dogs.jpg” so my cats won’t find them on my computer.

@Parkerlawyer

I have a client that speaks French so I like to call him on the phone so I can say Bonjour! and then listen to him say probably very important things I don’t understand but it sounds amazing.

@tastefactory

*ring ring* Hello?
“If u want to see ur son again give me $500,000”
OH GOD PLEASE DONT HURT HIM
“I won’t if u-”
Haha gotcha, leave a message

@Fickle_Filly

It wouldn’t be appropriate for me to comment further but that’s not going to stop me.

@Charles_HRH

Justin Bieber on the phone. Says he “won’t be coming back to the UK in a hurry”. Well played, Great Britain. Job done.

@im_not_smug

Coworker: That’s a stupid song
Me: Your face is stupid
Coworker: Way to be mature
Me: YOUR FACE IS MATURE!!

@SveldtSmelt

If the world was made of LSD, I’d learn to walk on my tongue.

@BlackJerms

I’m an introvert but also a narcissist so if you could find a way to praise and compliment me without having to talk to me, that’d be great