My son just sat me down to gently explain how I haven't made his summer "fun enough" yet so now he's folding laundry. In a totally fun way.

@jimmy_sharpe: Jealous of how pineapples always have cool hair.

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@PleaseBeGneiss: DOCTOR: your blood pressure is high MY BLOOD PRESSURE: oh shit is it obvious

1

@blaha_Who: Drive me up the wall, so I know you're 4 wheel

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@sofarrsogud: ME: What's the capital of Germany? SON: G ME: So college is a no then?!

1

@shariv67: We only use 10% of our brains because the other 90% is busy regretting saying "You too!" to a waiter after he said "Enjoy your meal."

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