Dubious claims my toddler made this week:
– he invented the thumbs up
– only *some* lizards can read
– he forgot how to eat carrots
– his daycare allows swords
How about your kid?
My son wanted to go to Disney, but I told him little boys who ruin marriages don’t go to Disney.
You Might Also Like
I thought I typed “twitter” in my URL, but I got Hot Russian Ladies somehow instead. So, I guess I have a wife in the mail….
Good news: My son cleaned his room
Bad news: He found his harmonica
After a long journey Frodo and Sam arrive to return the One Ring to the fires of Mt. Doom
Frodo: Dude dont be mad, but I forgot the receipt
Me:I need to focus on work
Brain: Remember that sweet song on the radio this morning?
Me:Yeah that was sweet
Brain: Let’s sing that instead
My favorite holiday drink is the Little Drummer Boy. It’s one part rum, three parts pum.
5: How come we never do anything fun?
Me: We went to an amusement park..
5: Yeah but that was a really long time ago
Me: It was yesterday
Judge: For the crimes you have committed you will go to prison for 10 years
Me: That’s a long sentence!
Judge: Ok – “you get 10 years”
Watched an old man pay in all quarters and my only thought was “he must keep all the money he pulls from behind kid’s ears”