@TheBoydP: My superpower is acting like I'm trying to stop the elevator from shutting when more people are trying to get on without really stopping it.
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@pplwtching: If someone says, "right about now" and you don't respond with "the funk soul brother" we can't be friends.
@TheTweetOfGod: NEW YEAR'S LOGIC 1. The planet is passing through an arbitrary spot on its unceasing orbit around the sun. 2. Time to lay off chocolate.
@jonnysun: INTERVIEWER: thank u, those are all my questions. do u hav any questions for us ME: yes…why do i want this job INTERVIEWER: [starts sweatig]