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@GoldenSpirals: My therapist told me "time heals all wounds",
So I stabbed him. Now we wait...
@jctwritesstuff: Him: What are you doing?
Me: Rollin' bones.
Him: I'll roll your bones. *wraggles eyebrows*
Me: *does voodoo-y stuff*
Him: *turns into a hedgehog*
@KyleMcDowell86: *puts dreamcatcher above bed*
"Sure hope this works"
*wakes up in the middle of the night*
*Ryan Gosling is stuck in dreamcatcher*
@Marcmywords2: "Where you going, we're in the middle of a conversation."
OMG! This is just the middle.
Annnnnd that's how the fight started.
@UncleDuke1969: Buying my parents' house.
Soon, like so many of the 'ladies' here...
I too will be a middle aged man tweeting from his mom's basement.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Why can't we feed the animals?
Wife: They'll get lazy and dependent and never, ever go away.
Me: *looks warily at our kids*