@TeaAndCopy: My wife always accuses me of having a favourite child. It's not true, I love Matthew and Not-Matthew equally.
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@AnkCoupleTO: If my mom had just faked having a headache I wouldn't be writing this bullshit on the internet right now
@plumbur: I'm convinced that my washing machine is a portal to a world where one-legged men hop around in my socks.
@Carter_TCB: Just found out men don't need prostate exams till at least 40. I think my doctor has a lot of explaining to do.
@FuckabillyRex: I get hit with a lot of folding chairs for someone that's not a professional wrestler.