@DirtMcTurd: My wife said I couldn't finger paint and also she says that "Paint" is a stupid name for our cat
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@AndrewNadeau0: RECEPTIONIST: And what’s the best way to reach you? ME: Probably just standing really close to me. And then, like… *slowly stretches arm out*
@artcarlson: #gameofthrones greatest achievement this season: getting us to root for a guy to hook up with a woman we all knew was his aunt.