@ThisOneSayz: No disrespect to the Jurassic World franchise, but the scariest dinosaur is purple and claims he loves me and is part of my family.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SharkJelly: [At Adele Concert] Adele: Hello from the other siiiiiide Me (shouting): Tell us your surname
@GrillinChillin9: Beer before liquor, never sicker. Liquor before beer, you're in the clear. Mexican food before wine, no 69.
@LeBearGirdle: Doctor: I'm sorry son, it appears you have... Jenga-itis Me: [trying to pull the doctor's shoes off without him falling over] is it bad?
@Home_Halfway: DATE: Say hi to my family. This is my mom ME: This is your mom? She looks like she'd be your sister! DATE'S MOM: Aww stop it DATE: This is my grandma ME: This is your grandma? She looks like she's 5 DATE'S GRANDMA: What DATE: This is my great grandma ME: She doesn't look born yet