I assume the hardest part of being in a street gang is not being able to enjoy a Frappuccino in public.
“No, no. No! NO!” – guy who invented black ski masks after people started using them for robbing
You Might Also Like
You know what I love about people who buy followers?
I can laugh at their expense.
Me: and now turning to slide 23, in conclusion I think we can all agree that this is not the outcome we were hoping for
Widow: *taking back microphone* how did you know my husband?
No thanks. I’m married so I spend enough money on people I don’t talk to
i have faced more peer pressure to drink oat milk than to do drugs
*congregation of Catholics disagrees with priest and walks out of church*
– mass unfollowing
Me: god you’re sexy
Her (sultry whisper): I’ll bet you say that to all the women
Me (sultry whisper): not my mom
If I were rich, I’d buy stuff I wouldn’t even use. Like helicopters or soap.
I saved 15 per
cent on my insurance by
switching to haiku.