No thanks, I only date women who aren’t into me.

No thanks, I only date women who aren’t into me.

- @tsm560

You Might Also Like


Coworker: My husband’s an angel.
Me: You’re lucky.. mine’s still alive.


Wait. What? You need two people for sex? What does the other one do?


Thesaurus was the first dinosaur to get murdered. No one likes a know it all.


If Michaels doesn’t come strong with a “Hobby Lobby supports ISIS” campaign then they’re just not ruthless enough to survive in Big Craft


You didn’t comment on my selfie.


Halloween and Valentine’s day are pretty much the same thing… people dress up and pretend to be someone they’re not for some sugar


I just want a time machine so I can show up at the Salem witch trials with an iPad.


Accidentally used AXE shampoo to wash my cat the other day and now he’s boxing strays and impregnated 17 dogs


Just realized the Master Card logo is a Venn diagram.


Job interview:
“what would you say is your biggest achievement is to date”

“I once wore a hat to bed and it was still on in the morning”