“You know what, that’s some ?..”
“Calm down you’re being irrational right now.”
North Korea is becoming like that annoying person that always threatens to close their Twitter account from lack of attention.
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“IF YOU’RE HAVING KNITTING PROBLEMS I FEEL BAD FOR YOU SON–” “stop rapping, Grandma” “–I GOT 99 PROBLEMS AND A STITCH AIN’T ONE”
I just threw a snowball at a Smart car and its airbags deployed
DATE: I want someone that’s mysterious & really into nature
The man next to me has cologne so strong that I’m dizzy with hallucinations, plus all those mushrooms I took.
People who say “Money doesn’t grow on trees” don’t understand the paper making process.
WIFE: Honey? why is there a deer in the living room wearing your clothes? HONEY?
[Cut to me running naked through the moonlit forest]
– a love story
Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and hey why did you bring all these goats they’re eating this luscious grass.
I talk a lot of shit for a girl who can’t function when the sock seam is twisted.