@daemonic3: [superfriends lunch]
BATMAN: There's an underwater nuclear threat
SUPERMAN: Aquaman, go!
AQUAMAN: [stares at watch] Gotta wait 30 minutes
@causticbob: At a job interview "What are your strengths?"
"I'm an optimist and a positive thinker"
"Can you give me an example?"
"Yes, when do I start?"
@jessforaminute: Lick the corner of your mouth. The corner. JUST the CORNER. God damn it Diane do you want to be America's Next Top Model or the Hamburglar
@Underchilde: I know I should be searching for my missing friend, but there’s a lot of food in his apartment that’ll spoil if I don’t eat it.
@TEXASVETERAN: Neighbor thinks I'm stalking her. Any time she hears a noise she is purified. Petrified!
Sorry, not easy reading a diary thru binoculars.
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