We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters
@dxblarssonENG: Not sure what to do with all the daylight we are saving.
@TheDizzyBeauty: Kinda creepy that my kids got in a screaming match over which one is my favorite since I don't have any kids.
@BatBatshitcrazy: My ex mother in law once commented that she wished her son had stayed married to his first wife.
Me too, I replied.
@RobertManchild: You say "Are you ok?" but I know you really mean "Stop coughing."
@sixthformpoet: I can never tell if a mother duck is being dutifully followed by her ducklings or chased by a gang of young duck criminals.