@dxblarssonENG: Not sure what to do with all the daylight we are saving.
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@daemonic3: [superfriends lunch] BATMAN: There's an underwater nuclear threat SUPERMAN: Aquaman, go! AQUAMAN: [stares at watch] Gotta wait 30 minutes
@causticbob: At a job interview "What are your strengths?" "I'm an optimist and a positive thinker" "Can you give me an example?" "Yes, when do I start?"
@jessforaminute: Lick the corner of your mouth. The corner. JUST the CORNER. God damn it Diane do you want to be America's Next Top Model or the Hamburglar
@Underchilde: I know I should be searching for my missing friend, but there’s a lot of food in his apartment that’ll spoil if I don’t eat it.