me: the opposite of “some” is both “all” and “none”, which are also opposites of each other but not opposites of “some”
the pentagon: who else have you talked to about this
Nothing against Peloton, but for about a tenth of the price you can buy a bike that actually goes places.
You Might Also Like
Unemployment Offices just emailed me to be a truck driver. I can’t drive a vehicle let alone a transformer
*Writes a song for you*
*Sings it under your bedroom window*
*You call the cops*
*Your husband falls in love with me*
Me: I wish I was super hot.
Menopause: Say no more, fam.
Him: I bet you’re good in bed.
Me: Oh hell yeah I am. I sleep solid as a rock!
Interviewer: Any questions?
Me: Why don’t they put a scratch and sniff box on recipes?
Hey geese crossing the road, u can fly.
Me: It’s not working out between us. You’re too suffocating.
Current anger level: I am last-beer-in-the-fridge-turns-out-to-be-a-soy-sauce-bottle angry.
Me: *researching sore foot*
WebMD: Dropped the frozen turkey again huh?