@CheryeDavis

Nothing makes me more proud of my son’s sense of humor, than when he asks me for help with his algebra homework.

You Might Also Like

@Browtweaten

Harry: I got my scar when Voldemort tried to kill me. How about you?

Me, who walked into an open cabinet door: Uh, Azkaban prison riot

@chuuew

WIFE: I need a new book. Something to really get my teeth into

ME: You’re thinking of a sandwich

@MelvinofYork

My daughter just straight up out of the blue said “daddy if you ever get shot I hope it’s in the belly so your fat will save you” WTF

@jharden21

Me as a news anchor:

an explosion at a nearby t-shirt warehouse resulted in thousands of *turns head to other camera* casual tee casualties

@Tommytoughstuff

[Jail]
INMATE: I killed a guy.
SCOOBY DOO VILLAIN: I got caught trying to haunt an old warehouse by a bunch of teenagers and a talking dog.

@kelkulus

Women don’t consider it chivalrous when you open bathroom stall doors for them.

@NourhanKheir

an advice to every dad,if you wanna see your children just turn the router off,they will suddenly appear.btw ur neighbor might come as well.

@junejuly12

Apparently I need a dongle, and I don’t know if I can buy one without giggling.

@dksc4life

It was awkward to see the “World’s Greatest Driver” bumper sticker on my car when it got pulled out of the lake today.