Not to say I’m reckless, but my guardian angel wears a blindfold.
Obi-wan: It’s over Anakin! I have the high ground!
Anakin:*Force pushes him out of the way*
Obi-wan: Damn that completely obvious solution
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My kitten runs away when the kids come near her, and now I’m mad that I never thought to try that myself.
I’m reading a book about poltergeists.
It’s a real page turner.
My 7yo son is running away because I made him write a few sentences. I guess I shouldn’t expect any letters from the road.
Sees cute guy in the parking. Drops something so I can bend over & do the sexy hair flip. Forgets I have short hair. He sees me as seizing.
Yes, I am aware pigs are more intelligent than dogs. Why would I want to eat an inferior animal and absorb its lesser powers?
Sometimes I wonder how vegans can survive off what little they can eat and then I remember they just feed off attention.
I hope zombies will come from Mexico.
After eating their way through fat Americans, they’ll be like “Sorry little Canadians. We’re full.”
Oh thanks BBC.
*dancing with the stars*
*all of a sudden there’s a fault in our stars*
me(to stars): what the hell guys? we practiced this!