Me: Take my pic *hands him camera & giggles*
Him: What’s funny?
Him: *presses button, explodes, dies*
Me: Ha! Photo bombed!
Officer – Do you know how fast you were going?
*Looks up from phone*
You Might Also Like
A haunted house, but instead of masked creatures it’s filled with everyone’s mother-in-laws.
*calls you by wrong name in bed, blames autocorrect*
Do you need a glass of water?
You sure? You seem a little salty…
One day, I hope to give someone a small, very personal item and then gently close their fingers over it
“Remember u don’t choose your spirit animal. It choose u”
ME: Ok great
*all the animals immediately look away & avoid eye contact with me*
What Swiss Army Knife attachment do I use to put those holes in cheese?
My body is a temple
There are many effective ways of inviting me to your event but doing it on Facebook is definitely not one of them.
*texting with girls*
Her: I <3 you
Me:[throws phone in disgust but picks it up and texts back angrily] you’re less than 3