8: Can we have peanut butter sandwiches?
Me: No peanut butter allowed in the house. Daddy is allergic to peanuts
8: Can we buy some after he dies?
oh my godddd my cat just asked for food while I was making creme brûlée lmao what an idiot read the room Steven
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WIFE: What happened in the end?
ME: I saw his stripy shirt behind a tree
Me: What time are we leaving?
Wife: In 3 or 4 hours
Me: Ok, I’ll be waiting in the car
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Him: Toast me some bread please?
Me *raising wine glass
Here’s to bread!