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@stockejock: Ok pregnant ladies. Today's the day!
@girlnarly: [first day as a buddhist] go ahead. name a person more patient than me. i’ll wait.
@Kaladas4U2NV: I lost 7 followers today.
It's nice to know some people are finally reading my tweets
@audipenny: Hey I got your text but then I died, I'll probably like resurrect when we accidentally run into each other though
@jackiembouvier: I thought I needed to get a divorce and start a new life in a foreign country and then I realized I was just hungry.
@Flattliner: The last time Twitter was down I was forced to speak to real people.
Real people go on and on and on and on, for way over 140 characters...