@murrman5

“ok start it up”
tktktk-puh-buurup-chk-a-chk
“give it some gas”
ss-ss-icka-icka-grrawh-pshhhh
any ideas?
“I can’t hear over you beatboxing”

You Might Also Like

@meganamram

I never give homeless people drugs because I know they’re just going to trade them for food

@PhilLaysheO

If a cougar left her teeth next to my bed in a glass of water was that a tip? Do I have to change the water? Do I feed them like goldfish?

@amysowerby

My boyfriend was explaining to me how its nice to be with me as I’m so easy to keep happy. Enjoying the positive comments I asked him to elaborate, he says well all you need is to sleep well, eat lots and go for nice walks, to which I suddenly realised I am a golden retriever

@WilliamAder

To me, the worst part of the prostate exam is when the doctor says, “Guess how many fingers.”

@bylinetd

My husband has Tourette’s Syndrome—

every time he drives.

@SteveSuckington

[quietly opens a beer]

Funeral Director: seriously?!

Me: oh sorry [reaches into cooler and hands him one]

@PastorBate

Restaurants drastically overestimate how much I care about which wood they smoke my bacon over.