I didn’t know Sony was hiring.
On TV no men can tie a necktie but all women can and there’s no backstory to explain it
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Unless you refer to it as either a shindig or a hootenanny, I will not be attending your party.
With inflation, it would be Mambo No. 6.59 in 2013
I really want to rent a hot air balloon. Or at least a moderately attractive air balloon with a great personality.
Doctor, reaching for a piece of paper: “Are you on any meds?”
Me: “You might want to grab a notebook.”
Getting away with an expired coupon like, yes, I am a con artist.
*reads your mind*
*decides to wait for the movie*
I’m gonna start carrying breath mints around in an engagement ring box just to briefly make women really uncomfortable during conversation.
I said I was a man with a plan. I said nothing about it being a good plan.
I bought a Mr. Microphone at a garage sale. Now I’m driving around yelling at bad drivers.
Best 25¢ I’ve ever spent.