@SteveKerr: One of the more important commas I’ve seen in a long time...
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@VallyOfTheLilly: Him: Let's grill this steak Me: *slams table, screams at steak* WHO SOLD YOU THE DRUGS Him: that's not- Me: Refusing to talk? BIG MISTEAK
@mattytalks: I have a rare muscle disease that causes my hands to write racist things that I don't remember later. The Doctor is calling it Ron Palsy
@JoParkerBear: I take no responsibility for anything I said or did yesterday. I was young. It was a different time.
@rockymomax: ME: *closes to Kill a Mockingbird* WIFE: did you actually read it? ME: yup WIFE: what happens ME: (very confidently) it was a bird massacre