ME: I’m Italian, how about you?
ME: Ok sure just give me a second
One time, when the kids were teenagers,
we tried to ditch them on a family holiday.
It didn’t work, unfortunately.
They found us.
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“No way!” said the hitchhiker as both he & the driver held up an ax. “I was gonna kill you!” “No I was gonna kill YOU!” eruption of laughter
“I knew the dame was trouble when she waltzed into my offfice with a green diamond floating over her head.”
Find someone who looks at you,
I think that’s a pretty good start.
When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
Somehow I missed my turn into my driveway and ended up at the pub few blocks over
Turns out it wasn’t vertigo causing me to run into things, it was vodka.
When you win a game of monopoly the owner of Hasbro shows up to hand you back the last 36 hours of your life.
Doing some research on the Fresh Prince of Belair. Does anybody know where he was born and raised and where he spent most of his days?