@JaneBadall

Online relationships – For when you want to be disappointed by imaginary people, too.

You Might Also Like

@Pork_Chop_Hair

Me [sobbing uncontrollably]: why did you say that?

My favorite meteorologist: I honestly thought it would be a nice da—

Me: I WORE SHORTS BECAUSE OF YOU!!!

@Lufty

My Uber driver upon seeing my face(not on my profile) switches his music from rap to the Chainsmokers and this is probably the worst I’ll ever be racially profiled

@FatherWithTwins

My 4yo is trying to sell my own M&M’s back to me. This guy’s going places.

@dadmann_walking

My toxic trait is drinking a giant cup of water and then getting on an hour and a half conference call

@TheHyyyype

[first day as life guard]

guy in water: help! help!! i don’t know how to swim!

me: *moving my arms* like this but in water

@TweetPotato314

“I’m tired of getting out of my car to take a shit.” – guy about to invent the R.V.

@SteveSuckington

If aliens are supposed to be so much more advanced than us, how did ET not know about texting?

@karanbirtinna

(First date)

Her: I like men who take charge.

Me: *trying to impress her* *shoves finger into electric socket*

@lazerdoov

1. Take pictures of every cat in your neighborhood

2. Make missing cat posters with the pictures

3. Get all the cats