Review of Black Holes: Zero Stars
OPEN UP. THIS IS THE POLICE. THANK YOU. CAN WE USE YOUR BATHROOM
You Might Also Like
For parents, college is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they’ll send your kid back.
NO, YOU GET THE HELL OFF YOUR PROPERTY.
ME: [knocks on neighbors door] I think I ran over your cat.
NEIGHBOR: What did the cat look like?
ME: *making face like I’m screaming* Like that.
“Do me a solid” just sounds like you’re asking someone to poop for you and that’s kinda gross.
*holding cardboard sign by intersection*
NOT POOR JUST ON MY WAY TO BREAK DANCING SCHOOL
[horse walks into a bar]
Bartender: Why the long face?
H: The world is spiraling down the crapper.
BT: You’re supposed to say-
H: Just pour.
“Suicide Squad” looks like a bunch of people Avril Lavigne hangs out with.
Snail cop: So tell me about the sloth that attacked you.
Snail: It all happened so fast.
MORT: I think I’m a vampire
MARV: We all love blood, Mort
MORT: But I can’t see myself in this mirror
MARV: That’s a leaf