@BoomBoomBetty: Other parents don’t want to be friends with us once they find out our child folds his own laundry and doesn’t need braces.
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@djdarrellripley: Her: Well, I don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth... Me: Then don't floss in a mirror.
@ClichedOut: ME: i trained this chicken to talk HER: let's see ME: what's a male deer CHICKEN: buck ME: how much is 200 pennies CHICKEN: buck buck HER: this sucks ME: it gets better CHICKEN: it gets way better, Karen
@HomeWithPeanut: Me: Thanks for helping me move. The Rock: No problem. Hey let me grab this box- Me: NO, DON'T! IT'S FULL OF- [The Rock gets crushed] -paper...