@BoomBoomBetty: Other parents don’t want to be friends with us once they find out our child folds his own laundry and doesn’t need braces.
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@BritXMeh: My spouse reminds me of He-Man. He also sits around in his pants all day, needs a haircut and has a weird relationship with his sister.
@GrantTanaka: this one time, I was able to rob a bank armed with nothing but a notebook filled with poetry I wrote in the 8th grade
@HappyHijabbi: *Brings 8 year old back to hospital nursery with receipt* This one doesn't listen anymore...Can I get a new one?