Why would you name your human child Hunter? Hunter is a profession. That’s like naming your kid Dentist.
GRANDMA WHERE IS YOUR COOKIE RECIPE
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Today I opened the door to the supply room and four Japanese guys jumped out and yelled “supplies!”
My wife CLAIMS to be my best friend but she didn’t seemed all that psyched when I bragged about this girl at work I just made out with.
This one time I swallowed a gum and my mom told me that “it stays in your system forever,” so I swallowed a table to stick it under it.
earth: I’m dying
humans: I’m sorry you feel that way
*sees a car with a “how am i driving” bumper sticker*
*calls the phone number*
ME: buddy i think it’s with a steering wheel
ME: Really? W o w
JUDGE: *annoyed* Sir, the word is Bourgeoisie
ME:*clears throat* Eff – U – See – Kay – U
A local man died after a shelf full of routers fell on him.
It was an unexpected LAN slide.
Mankind has made a lot of mistakes, some of them truly monstrous. The Holocaust. Slavery. Calling it a “corn maze” and not a “maize maze.”
99% of all online behavior is explained by the fact that everyone is insanely lonely and horny. the remaining 1% is advertising