@offbeatoliv: Ouiji boards are a little less intimidating knowing they’re from Hasbro.
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@internetmo: No, actually I'd love to hear about last night's episode of that show I just told you I don't watch
@KentWGraham: We’re looking for a place with a nice view of the sidewalk, a big garden to dig up and a soundproof basement for storms. –Dog House Hunters
@robfee: "I'm still years behind on Breaking Bad so I expect the entire internet not to discuss it until it's convenient for me." - Idiots
@captainkalvis: me: my hot water doesn’t work landlord: not my domain firelord: nor mine me: what waterlord: [rising out of the sink] WHO DARES DISRUPT THE MIGHTY WATERLORD, GOD OF THE 7 SEAS me: i-i do. My hot water doesn’t work waterlord: oh shit for real? i'll call the plumber