As a child I was worried I may have a thing for lions when watching Nala’s ‘come to bed’ eyes in lion king. Never pursued this thankfully.
Raised as a Catholic which meant a weekly trip to church to confess my sins. Aged 7, I was walking to church & just could not think of any sins I’d done. Wondered idly what’d happen if I confessed to murder? Got there. Confessed to murder. Much consternation. Bloody brilliant.
my 92 year old grandmother during my birthday lunch: you know who I think is very handsome? that murderer boy
I’m not a 10, I’m more like two 5s stuck together with melted cheese
Our son, who lives in Brisbane, fully 10,000 miles out of earshot, has just sent our daughter, who lives under our roof, some bagpipes.
some of you aren’t reading the room. not even listening to the room on audiobook
It’s my god-given right as an American to pretend a bar of soap is a credit card getting swiped on my b***cheeks.
Rubbing lotion on complete strangers not because I want to but because they need it.
The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute 😭
I did 1 workout. Am I fit now plz
Graphic novels are awesome if you need your kids occupied for 7.5 minutes at the cost of $30.
I had a 77 Datsun pickup. I came out of the mall and drove home in the wrong 77 Datsun pickup. The key worked.
when I was a toddler I couldn’t sit still on my first airplane ride and the flight attendant’s response was to simply take me into the cockpit to bother the pilots
Always go for the Lonewolf, unless they are insane, then go for someone else.
Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why