one time when i was a kid i fell off my skateboard & hit my head so hard i was briefly able to communicate with bees
I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”:
“This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”
It’s pretty apt that the i is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.
Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it little dude, life is hard
Welcome to your late 40s from now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”
“Are you ready to apologize to your sister yet?”
4yo and my husband made pasta from scratch for dinner. 4yo took one bite and said “this is the best meal I’ve ever had, please can we make this again” then promptly left the table and ate no more. Bless preschoolers.
i used the “😭” emoji in a work chat and the manager of a separate department got upset about it and said this to my boss about me
It’s been 5 years since they banned me from Yelp and I’m still mad about it. I did nothing wrong.
