i did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as i start it twelve years ago
my mother is taking me to see the monday matinee showing of the barbie movie as a mother should.
What I lack in moves on the dancefloor I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation
I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down……
Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.
Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at Le Foodcourte du Costco.
Dating someone that actually likes you is wild. Like, what do you mean this person wants me around? And tries to get to know me? And asks what my blood type is? Or if I have both kidneys? Or if I wanna fly out & meet them alone in an abandoned hospital? It’s nice to feel wanted.
Sorry I jumped out from behind the Doritos display at Kroger and started choking you, I’m new to all this roleplay stuff.
Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive!! 😆😆
I have to eat my last meal of the day earlier and earlier as time goes by or I won’t be able to sleep at night
I had supper at 10:30 this morning today
Saw a movie about a bunch of people on a cursed beach. Got old pretty quickly
I’m 45 and still don’t know what to do when live music is playing.
I’m at the age where a “movie marathon” means .75 movies
My 11yo daughter is explaining to my 5yo son what Toys R Us was and he’s losing his shit.
Watching golf, and every ovation is a standing ovation.