My bank, who passed all 14 interest rate rises onto my home loan account, but only half of them onto my savings account, just sent me some tips on how to identify financial scammers
Releasing a bunch of snakes in my neighborhood because I feel like the chatter on NextDoor is getting a little stale.
they should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year
Me: I only want two strips of bacon.
Buffet bacon: Have this clump of 87 pieces of bacon.
*knocks on bedroom window*
*holds up phone *
YOU LEFT ME ON READ!
My husband accidentally woke me at 5am while getting ready for his morning run. Exercise doesn’t just hurt you, it hurts the ones closest to you.
New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.
{notices you’re wearing silver earrings}
sorry your ears came in 2nd
Imagine going on a date with someone holding a fish in their dating profile picture and when you get to the restaurant it’s just a salmon sitting there waiting
Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.
About to shave my legs let me know if anyone is interested in buying extensions
building forts as fast as I can but I’m running out of pillows
A really cute girl started working out next to me at the gym so i switched to super heavy weights to impress her someone please call an ambulance
Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?
You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.