I don’t go to parties that are “8 ’til late” because I think those two things are the same.
Good morning
ah yes….my favourite videogame
I was doing a family shoot and asked the kid (8) to step out the frame so we could get a shot of the parents kissing. The dad is kissing the mom and the kid goes ‘it’s been a long time since I’ve seen them do that’
Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.
I try not to tweet when I’m happy…because I respect you guys and what we do here.
If you bring your fancy peanut butter to the Home Depot paint department they have to stir it for you
Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in
Me: I’d like a pumpkin ale.
Waitress: Do you want sugar on your rim?
Me:
Waitress:
Me: [looking nervously at my wife]
Wife: OMG SHE IS TALKING ABOUT THE BEER
When I am served half an egg at a restaurant,
I wonder to myself:
Who has the other half of my egg?
Two strangers;
Living their lives;
Sharing an egg.
when i said i wanted to be held, i didn’t mean accountable.
My kid told me that school today was “bad” and “sooo boring” and all because a teacher said he wasn’t allowed to catch lizards at recess
“you won’t always have a calculator with you” yes I will. The real test should be whether or not I can finish the quiz without buying anything online
Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities
me when i smell free food in the break room
