Dating someone that actually likes you is wild. Like, what do you mean this person wants me around? And tries to get to know me? And asks what my blood type is? Or if I have both kidneys? Or if I wanna fly out & meet them alone in an abandoned hospital? It’s nice to feel wanted.
Sorry I jumped out from behind the Doritos display at Kroger and started choking you, I’m new to all this roleplay stuff.
Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive!! 😆😆
I have to eat my last meal of the day earlier and earlier as time goes by or I won’t be able to sleep at night
I had supper at 10:30 this morning today
Saw a movie about a bunch of people on a cursed beach. Got old pretty quickly
I’m 45 and still don’t know what to do when live music is playing.
I’m at the age where a “movie marathon” means .75 movies
My 11yo daughter is explaining to my 5yo son what Toys R Us was and he’s losing his shit.
Watching golf, and every ovation is a standing ovation.
*blowing up your phone at 3am*
I get it now. Skeletor is the hot one. Not He-Man.
At the grocery store some old lady seemed like she was hitting on me. Turns out we went to school together.
My superpower is being able to watch a movie 3 times and getting something new out of it each time (because I was scrolling twitter each time).
*bites your top lip*
Ish shish shexy?
just saw the barbie movie and it’s fantastic! i won’t give away the entire ending, but she does kill osama bin laden.
My favorite thing on Twitter is when two astrologers fight about who’s right.