At my last colonoscopy I had the doctor write a note to my wife stating that my head was NOT up there…
My wife: Our daughter played Godzilla with her friend at school today.
Me: Wow! What were you?
Toddler: Godzilla!
Me: And what was your friend?
Toddler: Scared!
We need it on priority
My brother and dad have been arguing over a broken PS1 since February 2000. My brother said my dad broke it one night drunk. Truth is my mate broke it claiming he knew how to chip it and I’ve never told anyone. My mum is on my brother’s side. Comes up at least 5 times a year.
I just post them. I don’t explain them.
Cinema or bowling
date: I like guys who are not afraid to show their artistic side
me: [to waiter] can I get a crayon and kid’s menu
energy cannot be created nor destroyed
Got banned from all the chemists in my town for calling them pharmas markets.
