Waking up extra early gives you more time and helps you focus. On all that extra time you could have been asleep.
me: [explaining the scene in bone tomahawk where they split a guy in half]
therapist: I doubt your mailman wants to do that to you
Currently in the moving elevator when I noticed this sign
Slamming into a lamppost in a robotaxi, staggering out and calling another robotaxi to the hospital which also immediately drives into a lamppost
The sales guy kept pushing, though I’d already said “No”, many times. So I shouted, “Non!” “Net!” “Nein!”
But he wouldn’t take No foreign answer.
This joke is 7 years old
Mapping America’s Far Right
me, on a business trip calling my kids on my last night: how was your day?
6: it was good, but tomorrow is going to be great!
me: aw, because I’m coming home?
6: because it’s “dress like a winter animal day”
Do you look ludicrous in tight, illuminous clothing? Or enjoy paying a fortune to tear ligaments? What about going fast and stopping by slamming your face against a tree? You do? Then why not book a skiing holiday?
Why did they call it a Megalodon and not a Sea-Rex
Tried to make a friendly comment about how I liked my neighbor’s very autumnal outfit, but I swerved too hard into friendliness, soared past over-familiarity, and landed on the arguably hostile “well if it isn’t Mr. Fall”
Somedays I just love AI so much
💀💀
Shout out to everyone who, like me, missed the northern lights for the second time in 2024.
