This salon has a picture of their bathroom in their bathroom and I love it so much
i’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (i love you)
“what’s wrong with you” right now or in general
We cannot all be trying to head home at 5:00PM. We have to start going home in groups
Dad died last year. I had the job of clearing his house out as I still
live in the same town. Found twelve thousand pounds in cash stashed in various hiding places. Haven’t told my siblings.
If there’s something strange. In your neighborhood.
I would feel bad about teasing my brother about the cow scaring him but one dark night my dog chased an armadillo & the armadillo slammed into my front door while I was reading & tried to CLAW its way into my house & I screamed & it’s still known as “The Night Of The Armadillo”
The most maddening thing about having a cat is when you can’t find them and start panicking and sweet-talk-hollering for them and shaking the treat box and nearing a panic attack — and they come yawning and stretching out of some nook or cranny like “Wow, you are being so loud.”
My husband says he doesn’t understand why I hate grocery shopping so much, because he doesn’t mind it. And by “grocery shopping,” he means a quick run to the store for ice cream, treats, and snacks. You know, the “essentials.”
Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?
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take me down to the opposite city where the girls are green and the grass is pretty
6 year old: I saw a car today that was kind of cool but very ugly. Have you seen it?
me: yeah, I’ve seen it