Community dinner theater is great because sometimes you’re hungry but you also want to see bad acting.
SPOILER ALERT ~ In the new Mission: Impossible movie Tom Cruise runs and jumps a lot.
Just left a review for the telescope I bought — barely works. two stars
My grandma & grandpa’s double headstone reads “I tried” and “No you didn’t”
*meets man next door*
That’ll be easy to remember. We have the same first name
*meets neighbour’s wife*
Is our name tattooed anywhere on your body?
Camping? Like sleeping with my bedroom window open?
People half my age are now legitimate adults, and frankly I find this offensive.
7: mom what’s chicken made of?
me: um, chicken
7: oh, ok…are we made of chicken?
me: no…
7: how about our dog?
me: *rips up application to harvard*
You have to be careful with people. You give someone the wrong look and they’ll tell you their whole life story.
Imma get shredded!
Goes to the cheese aisle.
Hearing a noise as a renter: Sounds like the plumbing might be going.
Hearing a noise as a homeowner: Ghosts!
DoorDash is great if you like having a sandwich and also 13 emails
me: the wind blew off 3/4 of my roof
friend: oof
me: pretty much
Can’t, need to go and at least see this gym that I am member of.
How long do you think Samara from The Ring has been waiting for someone else to watch that videotape now?