Handing over my ID at the post office.
The clerk said “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.”
I said “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”
Become ungovernable.
I wish I loved anything as much as the previous owners of our house loved using a label maker
Fave #ChuckleBrothers gags. Barry to Paul in their beds in the middle of the night:
‘What time is it?’
‘Dunno. Pass me that trombone & I’ll find out.’
*blows trombone loudly*
Someone shouts: ‘WHO’S THAT PLAYING THE TROMBONE AT 2AM?’
😃
WHAT????? IS HAPPENING WITH THESE NEW SPAM BOTS
touring apartments is so funny bc sometimes you know the answer is no as soon as the door opens and you gotta pretend like you kinda interested as you see the rest of the place omg
I triple dog dare you to paint my shutters and stain my front porch for me.
I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”
Brat summer over. Time for Farfalle Fall.
If you respond, “My bra is too tight” every time a coworker approaches, they will stop asking you questions.
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“You can’t just erase people out of your life”
Me:
