I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch
NEW YORKERS: we need more housing
DEVELOPERS: you mean, like, little baby apartments?
NEW YORKERS: no, real housing
DEVELOPERS: we made the little baby apartments.
NEW YORKERS:
DEVELOPERS: you cannot afford them.
NEW YORKERS:
DEVELOPERS: they are “luxury” 😆
Grandpa
“What are your dogs’ names?”
Me: “Calvin and Klein.”
“Isn’t that a brand of underwear?”
Me: “Exactly, they’re boxers.”
How do books end up in a prison library? Do they have to do something bad like giving someone a papercut?
🤣😂🤣😂
🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Artwork by Herta Burbe
Truly one of the great bangers
Just pulled into a DQ drive thru for a blizzard. Dude tells me they’re out or Reese’s. I say no problem not your fault. He dead ass goes “that’s where you’re wrong. I do the ordering and I’ve been slacking.” ☠️ 😂
it’s only wednesday, and i’m being so brave about it
“FRAAANCE!”
Two
Three
Four
Tell the people what she wore…