Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
…but it’s just me attempting to recover silverware from my teenage son’s bedroom.
Why does life keep trying to teach me patience? I don’t want to learn patience!
Koala bears can sleep up to 20 hours a day, which means they’re only a few hours short of having a perfect day.
13: mum, I fell in P.E and hurt my leg… and Chloe saw me face plant.
Me: aw, baby, don’t be embarrassed… it happens.
13: I know, mum… I got up, looked her dead in the eye, and said “look at that, Chloe, I scraped my knee falling for you!”
Do I fail parenting now?
A documentary about how the band Hanson exploded onto the music scene in the 90s, call it MmmBoppenheimer.
Apparently “make it to retirement” is not an appropriate answer for what your work goals are
I enjoy holding the door open for people who are far away so they feel like they have to run a little.
My favorite thing is when my husband asks me to help him cook and then ignores literally everything I suggest and doesn’t like the resulting meal 😭
I just watched a YouTuber apology video where the lady played a ukulele and said “the only thing I ever groomed was my two Persian cats.”
Ah, summer break. When I leave for work my teenagers are sleeping and when I get home from work, my teenagers are sleeping.
Having lunch at eleven in the morning because I don’t want anything to interfere with my afternoon nap.
Reminder: Before taking your first bite into a fast food sandwich you need to redistribute the pickles.
had 2 glasses of wine about to text him “can I ask you something” and then turn my phone off til tomorrow
“I apologize for the misunderstanding”
– Professional
– Non-threatening
– Executive level“Listen here you little shit”
– Assertive
– Life-threatening
– Who knows what will happen next
*Burns dinner*
Who likes dark meat?