Apparently “make it to retirement” is not an appropriate answer for what your work goals are
I enjoy holding the door open for people who are far away so they feel like they have to run a little.
My favorite thing is when my husband asks me to help him cook and then ignores literally everything I suggest and doesn’t like the resulting meal 😭
I just watched a YouTuber apology video where the lady played a ukulele and said “the only thing I ever groomed was my two Persian cats.”
Ah, summer break. When I leave for work my teenagers are sleeping and when I get home from work, my teenagers are sleeping.
Having lunch at eleven in the morning because I don’t want anything to interfere with my afternoon nap.
Reminder: Before taking your first bite into a fast food sandwich you need to redistribute the pickles.
had 2 glasses of wine about to text him “can I ask you something” and then turn my phone off til tomorrow
“I apologize for the misunderstanding”
– Professional
– Non-threatening
– Executive level“Listen here you little shit”
– Assertive
– Life-threatening
– Who knows what will happen next
*Burns dinner*
Who likes dark meat?
I make sure I throw any vegetables offered to me across the room to make a point.
i can’t believe adam and eve had to leave the garden of eden over an apple. if it were a better fruit like a mango or a peach I would understand but an apple?
I open a yogurt like I’m opening a coffin
The way I see it, your dress automatically has two pockets as long as you’re wearing a bra.
If I could go back and do it all over again I’d be born into money