11: (squeezes my face) It’s just like squeezing SpongeBob
Me: Why?
11: (laughs)Because your face is full of holes
𝙋𝙤𝙧𝙚𝙨, 𝙨𝙝𝙚’𝙨 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙢𝙮 𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙚𝙨
𝙃𝙚𝙧 𝙧𝙤𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙙𝙞𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙡𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡
this 4 hour meeting could have just been someone pulling my finger nails off one by one with pliers.
anxiety is soooo crazy bc why do i have diarrhea cuz im scared of something that hasn’t happened yet. what purpose does this diarrhea serve evolutionary
you aren’t “dehydrated”, you have attachment issues and you were denied water as a child
hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems like baby you are supposed to be a mental disorder please stay in your line
Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.
Them: How corny are your jokes?
Me: Pretty corny
Nobody:
Shampoo bottle when I’m in the shower:
why does this picture look like abed accidentally transported into gilmore girls and not that the actor is actually in this scene
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Imagine having a cool ass name like Theodore, and then people just call you Ted.
They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out