An unintentionally hysterical ad offering proof why ‘branding’ always needs a second pair of eyes.
Holy moly
When a woman has her husband’s last name, my first assumption is that they got married in their 20s. I feel like by your 30s, you’ve absolutely maxed out on paperwork.
This came to me in a dream.
i missed therapy because i was up until 4am making this
The package says “Serves 4” but my dadbod says “challenge accepted”
In the hierarchy of my office, I was Pam for so many years that it’s hard to accept that I am now firmly Phyllis even though she’s obviously the coolest
Dreams won’t chase you back, but Canadian geese sure as hell will.
My main beef with zombie films/shows is that nobody seems to have a sense of smell.
One time an orca befriended me and then tried to steal my boyfriend
Why do Tomb, Comb, and Bomb all have different pronunciations ????
Dads! Please say the whole of the sentence in the same room.
Thanks.
My incontinence jokes are much like the instructions on the side of my chamber pot.
Piss, Pour.