I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.
Was dancing with a lad last night, and his mates dragged him away for the last train home… he said “my names Maff I’m from Kettering, find me”… imagine if life were that easy 😅
you should get a pension for having to go to school for 12 years
Woman on the mom forum wants to start a weekly play date club (good idea!) and another woman chimed in:
“Is it so you can steal information about women’s husbands so you can cheat with them, like how you cheated with mine?”
And now my Sunday just got MUCH more interesting!
No one in this airport bathroom wants to make prolonged eye contact with me
I never forget to eat but I do eat to forget
me: oh my god!!! i just had the most amazing nap.
doctor: you were just under general anesthesia.
me: when can i go again?
Brie: France
Feta: Greece
Jack: top of the beanstalk
I try not to let avocados go bad anymore cause last time I let an avocado go bad, it stole my car and robbed a bank
Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.
I SAID YES!!!!!! 💍🥂🥳🎉 i asked myself if i wanted a breakfast burrito.
A truck with truck nuts, but all the way around, like a sombrero.
These kids today have it made. When I was growing up and there was a natural disaster, we’d have to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.
google ai LOVES to step in when it sees “vs” and will try its hardest to compare whatever you throw at it
