To all staff: the library now uses new programs for collaboration, project management, scheduling, and messaging. Each has different password requirements with 12-factor authentication. This will boost productivity for the 20 minutes a day that you’re not logging into something.
I stood for an entire general admission concert at age 46, will my prize be mailed to me or…
If you live in Tampa, evacuate. Your life is in danger.
If you live on Earth, evacuate. Your life is in danger.
We often get asked if we take money to promote products. Absolutely not, we always say no as that would stain our reputation. The kind of stain only Persil non bio could get out, even at low temperatures.
The same fruit bar has been going back and forth in my kid’s lunch for so long that at this point it’s load-bearing
my life changed when i learned some house spiders can’t survive outside so now i just catch them and release them in a friend’s home
The family panel on the back of my car is just me standing next to a hand, a lotion bottle, and a bunch of smiling tissues where the wife and kids should be.
A visual representation of how much I think countries look like a chicken nugget. More green = more nuggety.
“The engine light is on” Yeah that means it’s working
Some questgivers in Cyberpunk 2077 give you ominous warnings like “DON’T keep me waiting” and it bothers me so much.
If you really want someone shot, something stolen or someplace exploded, you can wait for me to find a pair of jean shorts to complete my outfit.
This lady in my bowling league was just hammering strikes and someone asked her “what kind of performance enhancers did you take before this” and she just says “Applebees Wings” and then just blows another strike right down broadway
making bad rap music is committing crhymes.
found a blob of cinnamon roll icing in my hair. anyway, thought of you
a depressed madame curie is a sighentist.
