I don’t cook, I more so… Dabble in the kitchen 😏
– me flirting
First it’s not safe INSIDE, now it’s not safe OUTSIDE. Who benefit? Big door.
Nothing says ‘I love you’ like an echo chamber
Don’t you hate it when you trip and fall and an entire pizza accidentally jumps into your mouth?
Thursday
I read that playing mind games will keep your brain sharp. I’ll start tonight by acting like I’m not mad when I really am mad.
My son knows he can’t use the f word in public and he certainly can’t say it in front of his younger sister or she’ll want to use it and also he thinks the f word is “phone.”
I would’ve worn my short shorts and my striped tube socks if I knew I was going to be walking around in sepia tone all day
Today I learned Amazon orders deliver quicker if you press send on the order?
what machine says: do not remove card
what I read: remove card
Received an email that my “services are no longer needed effective immediately” & “good luck on your future endeavors”. Frankly I think my wife should have told me in person.
The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse probably.
My daughter: I don’t need your help. Unless it’s like really difficult. Or costs more than twenty dollars.
I want to see a combination celebrity chef and magician. Like when they put it in the oven it was baked risotto but when they take it out of the oven it’s corn dogs.